


such a lonely heart

by curlyhairedgirl



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24498040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlyhairedgirl/pseuds/curlyhairedgirl
Summary: tumblr prompt: But, I've been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you back home,Tittle is inspired byLonely Heartby 5 Seconds of Summer.Also, I got inspired by thispostand thispost!
Relationships: Carlos Reyes & TK Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	such a lonely heart

TK and Carlos had an… interesting relationship, to say so. If anyone asked them about the other, they could answer that it was the best two years of their lives, with a nostalgic smile forming on their face. 

They had the kind of relationship anyone wanted. 

They cared for each other. Everytime one of them wanted to speak about something that was eating them alive, was trapping them inside their minds, the other could listen without second thoughts, whatever their day had turned into. They could guide and advice them if they wanted to, or they could just be there holding them (the physical touch was _way_ important than actual words), reassuring them they would support them until the end of the line. If one of them was injured by the job, after being anxious all day until they see with their own eyes that their loved one was indeed _okay,_ the other could take care of them, 'heal their wounds', treat them like their life was depending on it. _Because, according to them, that is love._

They needed each other. Every time they could work on the same call, they could steal a small kiss or a quick hug from one another. After a lond day at work, the other could wait for them with open arms, a warm and intimately atmosphere surrounding the house. They had a home to come back to, _a specific person to come back to. Because, according to them, that is love._

It was those moments. The small kisses they were stealing, the little hugs they were sharing. TK putting his forehead on top of Carlos' shoulder every time they interacted. Carlos putting a hand on top of TK's waste, holding him steady. The way their feet tangled once they went to bed. The "behind the back" hugs, touching their forehead on the others back, that made each other's heart run miles of marathons. Touching their foreheads when the other cried, either due to a hard day they had at work, or because they just needed to cry their heart out. Brushing their lips together, smiling teasingly before the actual kiss. 

Saying the first 'I love you's' did take them a lot time. TK was scared of loosing him after he came across his own feelings, Carlos was afraid he might was pushing to far. So, they maybe hadn't said the words with ease, they were showing it with every move and touch they shared together. 

However, according to most people, all good things must come to an end. 

_"I don't think I can do this anymore Carlos."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"It's just, our lack of work, the way I always have to worry if you'll ever come back, you worrying about me if I ever come back… it's too much for me right now!"_

_Carlos' gaze was blank and TK cursed the time and place Carlos had learned to hold back his face and body expressions because he really needed to know what the other man was thinking, "So what are you suggesting?"_

_"I think we should call it quits."_

And then, just like that, TK was out of Carlos' life and Carlos was out of his. 

The first two months had not been easy. TK was feeling many emotions at the same time, _overwhelmed,_ but, he knew he could move on from this. He did in once the past, he could do it again. _Although, Carlos was not Alex._ Carlos was a unique kind of person. He was under TK's skin, a part from his heart, _his own soul,_ was, and always will be with him. TK knew, _he understood,_ that, which made the whole 'getting over Carlos' operation much more harder than he wanted to. Sometimes he even wondered why he ended thing, other times he caught himself ready to either text the man back or even call him, just to make sure if he was okay. He still cared about him, still kept wondering if Carlos had made it hope safely. I he was okay after a difficult call. _Because that is love, and he knew it._

Months passed by, it became easier and easier for TK. He even went on calls without anxiety eating him alive, praying to whoever was listening to, not land on Carlos while he was there. Now the two men we very profesional with each other everytime they met, not letting a single feeling get in their way of doing their job right. _That, for TK, was a big win._

TK knew what he was doing. He knew how to lock his feelings away, how to look away, where to yell, scream, punch. He was used to it, by now. He knew how to control or where to direct his emotions. However, what he heard next, still, caught him on guard. 

"I though you and Carlos had broken up?!" 

"He have, Mateo.", his tone was steady. He did not want to show his confusion on why did probie brought up one of the few things that used to make him still want to wake up to see the light of the sun the next morning, or how hard his heart was pounding now. He and Mateo were tasked to go and grab some supplies from the store that Paul needed to finish tonight's dinner. "Why are you asking?" 

"Oh, nothing serious, I just happen to meet Carlos the other day and he was wearing on of our old AFD hoodies. You know, the black one with the hood? The first one we got when we were first recruited by your dad."

And that's when TK lost it, nearly dropping the things he was currently holding inside his hands. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

"Yes Mateo everything's fine. Let's pay end get out of here." 

The ride back to the station was quiet. TK kept his gaze on the road, not flinching once, while Mateo kept glaring at him occasionally. TK knew Mateo wanted to ask, _he wanted to know,_ but, TK was beyond glad he did not bring the topic back into the light because, at this moment, he did not know how he would've react in the mention of Carlos. Even thinking his name gave him the chills. 

  
  
  
  


000

  
  
  
  


It was past midnight. TK's mind was running marathons. He could not sleep. All he could think about was the conversation he had earlier with Mateo. All old feelings coming back with such a rush. As if they never left. _Correction,_ they actually never left. 

He was now sitting on his bed, his legs crossed, staring at his phone for the past fifteen minutes, debating if he should or should not. _"fuck it",_ with a small sign he pressed Carlos' name and waited for the other man to pick up. _The second he was about to give up-_

"Hello?" 

TK kept staring blankly sometimes at the wall across him sometimes at his own phone. _He had_ _not heard his voice, talking like this, without any trace of professionalism, for so long. He missed it._

"TK?" 

TK cleaned his throat before speaking, "oh yeah, Carlos, hi. I'm sorry for calling you this late!", his voice yay more pitched and high than he wanted it to be, "it's late, again I'm sorry, I'll just hang up-" 

"It's alright, I was not sleeping anyways."

_Silence._

"TK? Are you still there?" 

"Oh, yeah, yes! I know it might sound odd but, can we meet at the park in a bit?" _he sounded so pathetic he wanted to punch himself in the face._

"Um, yeah sure?! See you in a bit." 

After hanging up, TK let a sigh, feeling like the biggest weight had left his own body. Before he got up and started putting clothes on him, he stayed a few seconds laying on his bed, watching his dark sealing like a piece of art, his breathing steady. 

  
  
  
  


000

  
  
  
  
  


When he asked Carlos to meet him in the park, he did not know the reason why. He did not believe the man could agree meeting him in the middle of the night, after being apart from each other, this long. He just wanted to see him. _He just missed him._

"So…", Carlos was now staring at him. The two men were sitting on a wooden bench, silently watching the black sky, that was somethings changing colours due to the small light the stars were giving. It was a peaceful night. Not many cars where on the road. A small lamp was shining, making the darkness look a little less scary. _Just a little._ The world was sleeping and yet, TK was there, in the middle of the night, right next to the love of his life. _If he could still call him that._

"I think it's time for me to go-" 

"I miss you Carlos", _he could not hold it back now,_ "I miss you so damn much. I thought by pushing you away, I could protect you from being hurt if anything happened to me. I though that if I pushed you away, I could protect myself from hurting. I thought I could move forward **but, I have been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you back home.** I need you Carlos! I've been dealing with all these emotions, trying desperately to hold them back, to avoid them. You mean so much to me Carlos. You're under my skin, the fuck can I do?"

Both men were crying. Carlos kept watching him, not saying a word, just, being silent. TK could not deal with it, "talk to me, please! Say something, yell at me!" 

“We can’t keep doing this. It’s one way or the other. I love you to damn much but, if we’re going to do this thing, if we're going to try this again, it’s either all in or all out. I’m not going to just keep dangling for you.”

“It’s not that easy, I know...I love you too, and I want to be together. I want you more than anyone I’ve ever been with before.”. Not waiting for an answer and, without hesitation TK grabbed Carlos, bringing him for a watery kiss, not wanting to waste any more time. Carlos places his hands on his waste, bringing him close, deepening the kiss. Both tried to be as close as possible, tried to make up the time that was already missed. 

"Just so you know, I know you've been wearing my AFD hoodie the months we were together." TK attempt to light things a little did not went the way he though, but, _he was not complaining._

"In my defence, it was the only thing I had left from you. I did not know that to expect. It was my shield of armor. As you said, you're under my skin man, the fuck can I do?" 

**Author's Note:**

> come and yell at me or whatever you'd like on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/glitch-ditch-canonbitch)


End file.
